Living your life obsessed with weight and food is exhausting. It’s isolating. It’s painful. Think about how much more joy and in-the-moment experience we’d have in life were we not putting so much energy into planning meals, restricting, bingeing, beating ourselves up, and exercising from a place of anxiety. It’s being a friend and coach to yourself, being empathic, understanding, patient, tolerant, and compassionate—while still having expectations and valuing growth. This is a long process and requires you to take time deepening your connection to yourself. Finding or creating purpose shifts the pressure away from our bodies as the determinant of our self-worth. Suddenly, those extra pounds or cellulite lose their power over our mood. So if you’re food- and weight-obsessed, it could be a sign that you’re seeking meaning. When we can be vulnerable and form strong, authentic connections, we feel seen and accepted as we are—imperfections and all. In therapy, this is what we refer to as a corrective emotional experience—where we experientially learn that the worldview by which we were living previously (for example, “I must be thin to be loved”) shifts. As we integrate that knowledge, we move forward knowing our lovability and worth has nothing to do with our weight or what foods we eat. How does your body look when you’re exercising for health, endorphins, and fun—not because fear tells you you’ll gain weight if you don’t? Or when you’re eating because you’re hungry and stopping because you’re full, not because you’re trying to stay within your macros or watching the clock? Or when you choose the salad one day because you’re craving salad, and the mac and cheese another day because you’re craving mac and cheese? This is your sustainable weight. When you can change your expectations for how you believe your body should be, you’ll no longer live with constant anxiety and shame (and hunger). Coming to this place of acceptance around your body’s happy, sustainable weight doesn’t come easily, and it has to be actively practiced—but trust me, it’s so worth it. Related reads: Melainie received her education in Melbourne, Australia where she was born and raised. She obtained her Bachelor’s degree in Biochemistry from Melbourne University and completed a Graduate Diploma in Sports Nutrition from Deakin University, Australia. Upon coming to the United States she earned her Masters Degree in Clinical Nutrition at New York University. Melainie developed her passion for treating clients with eating disorders while working at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Obesity Research Center in New York City. Her understanding of the research behind obesity gave her a unique perspective on eating behaviors and binge eating disorder specifically. In 2002, Melainie developed the largest private group nutrition practice specializing in eating disorders in New York City. As she saw a need for more services for eating disorders, she established BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™ in 2009. Melainie Rogers MS, RDN, CDN, CEDRD is a recognized expert on eating disorders. She is a dynamic speaker and educator, and is the co-founder and first President of the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (iaedp) New York Chapter.
