See, the ego used to have an important job—getting us all hyped up and aware of our surroundings in case a saber-toothed tiger was lurking around the corner. These days we don’t run into dangers like that all that often. But the ego (industrious little thing that it is) needs to feel employed and important. It does this by inspiring fear, self-judgment, and judgment of others. All these future events your ego is worrying about? They don’t exist. I mean, maybe you won’t get that promotion. What happens then? Well, you’ll deal with it in the moment just like you’ve always dealt with any hardship. Projecting about it and worrying about it is a useless waste of your energy. When you find yourself projecting, ask yourself the following question: Can I do anything about this right now? If the answer is no, then stop worrying. Listen to your breath and allow it to bring you into the moment. Do something that brings you joy. If the answer is yes, then stop worrying and get busy. The same thing applies to the past. The ego loves to keep us trapped there—rehashing old hurts, perceived mistakes, ancient regrets. What good do these obsessions do? Presumably, you’ve learned the lesson and you have or will apply it to future decisions. You did the best you could. Now move on. Your ego thrives on separating you from the moment and from others who share in this moment with you. Here are three strategies that can help you free yourself from it: Start telling yourself “If love did not create it, it is not real,” and see if it brings you a new perspective on your situation. It’s amazing how solutions suddenly occur to you once you’re no longer trapped in the fear/anxiety loop. This whole practice of dissolving ego is like one big detox. You know the headaches, cravings, and bad mood that can follow a night of indulging? That’s your liver detoxing. The anger and self-righteousness you begin to feel after starting this process is the same thing. And just like a hangover, all you can do is wait it out and make the best choices you can stomach. When the anger strikes, grab a piece of paper and begin writing down all the things for which you are grateful. Start small and keep writing. Is the sun coming through the window? Or maybe it’s raining and you love the rain. Maybe your favorite show is on later. Maybe your socks match and that makes you happy. Just write it down. This is your one small step back toward your path. Working on yourself in this way can be exhausting, so don’t feel like you’ve failed if you have a fearful or anxious thought. Striving for perfection is a trait of the ego too. So remember that each breath, each moment, each movement you make is your destination. Even as you begin, know you have already arrived.
