I know those feelings well from my own childhood: from the age of four, my mother wasn’t able to care for us. I grew up on very shaky ground, moving to new homes and cities, with a father who was divorced three times by the end of my teens. A child’s universe does not need to be decimated just because the two adults in charge of them are changing the form of their relationship. Here are some tips for anyone ending a marriage with kids who don’t wish to end their family. Digging deep into the impact of divorce before moving out can help you feel sure about your decision and ease the process. This process will also help you figure out how best to communicate the emotional message to your kids, in addition to explaining the seismic logistical shifts that will be happening. Additionally, put effort into the details to create cozy environments for everyone. We were committed to ensuring that both homes were properly set up and comfortable for the kids. This included furniture, toys, bedding, and blankets they liked to sleep with at night and so on. One way to do this is to create and agree on a very clear and consistent parenting schedule. Be extremely vigilant about maintaining a consistent rhythm in your children’s lives so there is never the question of “Who’s house am I staying at tonight?” “Family” is a place in our hearts, not a street address. As co-parents of these precious kids that we chose to bring into the world, it’s imperative that we keep expanding our definition of family and love, so our kids feel at home no matter where they go.
