And, well, you might already be doing it. Here, we explain what it means, what the pillars are, and the various pitfalls. However, as Aliza Pressman, Ph.D., co-founding director and director of clinical programming for the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, notes, gentle parenting is really just another variation of authoritative parenting. She notes you don’t need to get caught up in the semantics of this, as it’s really all the same concept: You want to raise a kid with sensitivity and warmth while also measuring out reasonable expectations and boundaries. “Any of these trends is not necessarily better than the others; it’s a lot of semantics,” she says. “If it works for you, and it improves your relationship with your child, then that’s great.” Another thing to note: Gentle parenting is also highly culture-dependent. Being “gentle” to children in one family or culture might look different from another. That’s OK. What does this look like in action? A recent psychologist-approved alternative to timeout is a good place to start: Instead of putting kids in an isolated space as punishment, this idea (from TikTok user Maarte Mami in a widely shared recent video) instead allows kids to explore their negative feelings in a safe space (in this case a comfy corner of the home) with tools that can help them process. “If a child refuses to clean up his toys, a gentle parenting approach could involve making a statement about the toys getting cleaned up so everyone can enjoy the room and then giving the child some time and space to decide how to manage the situation,” says Beurkens. “If the child refuses, the parent might then sit with the child (either at that moment or a later time when calm) to discuss how the child is feeling and what solution might work for everyone.” And also be careful about your needs too—part of being a “gentle” parent is being gentle with yourself. In an attempt to be so focused on the child, parents may stop paying attention to their own needs.
