Some people can be chronically depressed, and others can be momentarily depressed. Depression can present in many ways, and your loved one may not have all of the signs or symptoms. According to Forti, you can look for observable changes in their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and physical presentation. “You may notice that your loved one, who was once a social butterfly, now cancels plans to meet for dinner, book club, or other events. They may start to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row, not groom as often, or stop wearing makeup,” she explains. “Your loved one may speak slower and seem distracted or irritable. They may stop reaching out to you, calling, or wanting to spend time together.” “Sometimes jumping in with advice causes people to pull back,” says Dragonette. “Don’t give unsolicited advice or provide help they didn’t ask for. Validate them without jumping in with your own experience just yet.” Furthermore, Forti advises avoiding suggesting to a person who is depressed that their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are not valid or can easily change. “They need empathy, compassion, and support. Validating their experience by not sugarcoating their pain and recognizing what is happening is a good first step,” Forti tells mbg. Here are a few suggestions of what to say to someone with depression: Keep your efforts simple and noninvasive. A text message stating, “I’m thinking of you” can do wonders for someone feeling alone and sad. Keep letting them know you care. Someone with moderate to severe depression may also have suicidal ideation. Professional help is especially helpful when someone exhibits signs of suicide risk. “[Risk factors] include seeing a decline in hygiene and self-care in your loved one, seeing your loved one sleep more than usual or struggle with staying present with others, and expressing upsetting thoughts, like ‘what’s the point?’ ‘people would be better off without me,’ or ‘I don’t want to do this anymore,’” Guarino tells mbg. “If you are concerned for the immediate safety of your loved one, it is OK to seek professional support. Your loved one may be resistant to help at first, but it is important to take the warning signs of depression seriously.” A trained mental health provider can listen, offer a supportive relationship to explore concerns, and assist with reaching goals of feeling better. If someone you love is dealing with depression, remember that you cannot be responsible for their well-being, but the supportive things you say to them can be beneficial. There are also resources you can share with your loved one. People struggling with depression and/or having suicidal thoughts can now call 988 to receive free support. “This number provides people access to professional crisis workers that can listen and offer help,” says Forti. “This line is open 24/7 so people struggling have access to a compassionate and trained helper no matter when they need help.” Information about how to contact the lifeline and resources for finding support can be found here: https://988lifeline.org/. They may also find resources on the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website: https://www.samhsa.gov/.
